I hope you’ve been doing well on your side of the screen! I blinked and apparently it’s now 2026. It’s about time we’ve had a little chat… a little yap if you will.
Where do I begin: life lessons now that I’m in my late twenties, upcoming goals for the new year, or the political state of the world? I want to touch on these topics soon, but first I need to give you the details about what led me to write this post here and now.
Back in September, I decided to temporarily shut down my website until I began posting again. After refining my budget, this was an area I noticed I was neglecting. Although I had no idea when I’d start back posting, I knew enough time had passed to accept that it was not financially responsible for me to keep up with since I wasn’t using it. After a few scrolls and clicks, the cord was officially cut. I could finally exhale now that I wasn’t carrying dead weight.
After I got off work this past Friday, I randomly opened my laptop and decided to make my blog public again. This was not on my to do list for the day or something I even planned on for later this month. It was just one of those intrusive thoughts.
My old subscription fee included special plugins. These plugins allow my content to be displayed in whatever way I configure it to. Think font styles and content layout. I remembered getting notifications about what I’d risk losing if I followed through with the cancellation process. You know, the typical cease and desist companies threaten you with. Some kind of way they forgot to explicitly state that I’d be losing every single word typed, every paragraph arranged, and every. single. blog. published… too.
I found all of this out while chatting with tech support (probably an AI bot) by the way. So imagine my surprise when I’m staring at my very first edit of the website. There were no graphics, blog posts, or branding. Just a white screen saying it’s under construction. I attempted to restore an old backup, but none of them existed in my backup history log.
I was siiiiiick.
While I waited for tech support to tell me if it was possible to restore it from September, I began preparing myself for the possibility of starting over from scratch. I didn’t want to get my Nara Smith on, but it also wasn’t a terrible idea. Did I want to do it? Frick no. Could I do it? Sure.
I was upset at myself for not saving any final posts offsite for instances like this. After all, these are records of my journey, my life, my thoughts, and my creativity. I need to have an archive for future reference. What if I ever get famous? What if I want to publish a book? What if my future kid wants to discuss one of my blog posts while on a yacht vacationing in Europe?
Bot, I want my thingssssss.
A few minutes later I get a ding so I opened the chat. They were able to find the backup I wanted and let me know it would take a little bit to fully upload. Yes! I was so relieved. I refreshed my page every few seconds and things slowly started to appear just how they used to. I immediately started singing praises to the most high.
What are the odds that my content was supposed to be completely wiped out 30 days after cancellation (October) and my last backup was somehow saved just for me, tucked away in a corner, for this very moment?
And with that, it’s safe to say I’m not letting that happen again. Lesson learned: use it or lose it.
What’s something that’s been on your mind for a while, but you just can’t seem to follow through? Have you been avoiding the action, the results, or both?
Ah, I’ll just get to it later. Maybe another day. Now isn’t a good time. I don’t have the energy to deal with that. It can wait. Not right now.
*reject*
*dismiss*
*cancel*
*remind me later*
I’ve been avoiding both in several areas like posting on my blog consistently, exploring creative avenues, and taking risks. Along the way, I gathered that society isn’t built for artists like me and unfortunately I kinda let it get to me a bit. I have to work a traditional job (especially in this economy). I have to have money. I have to maintain things and that’s just the way of life. That doesn’t always leave me with the most positive thoughts knowing I’m called to greater things.
Part of my hiatus was intentional. I strongly believe there is a season for announcing and another for gatekeeping. The other part was a mix of laziness, imposter syndrome, and life’s curve balls. Despite me developing other skills, my artistic goals started to seem out of reach. Trapped in a repeating cycle of procrastination, I thought I knew every outcome that would happen without truly putting forth effort.
If I really want my dreams to become a reality, I need to actively work towards them no matter the cost. This is what I need to remember the next time I decide that what I’m doing doesn’t matter and stop pouring into myself. It does matter. It will matter. A hard look in the mirror and change in perspective would’ve done the trick: sharing my gifts is a good investment longterm.
I can no longer risk not working on my creative outlets on a consistent basis. The blog has been revived as my form of resistance!
There will always be excuses, circumstances out of my control, and distractions. I simply have to push past all of the clutter to act on my dreams anyway. While I do have time to grow, I know that my time on earth is limited. It’s not guaranteed I’ll have another moment quite like this. I must use it wisely.
I’ve made efforts over the past year to assess my time management. Where is my time going? What is a distraction? What tasks are going to propel my life? One of the changes I made was taking month long breaks from my social medias and it has been such a power move for me. It really is that phone! This is one thing I’ve decided to get off my plate and out of sight, out of mind, does me so good. There are a few other techniques that have helped, but more on that in an upcoming post. I’m just glad I’ve been able to use my experiences to get back to doing what I love most.
How have you been? What do you want to see from me? Who has inspired you lately? Before you go, here’s someone that has inspired me!
Doechii! I challenge you to find all the references from The Swamp Princess inside this read.
I got to see her in concert TWICE last year just because I could. Her mixtape, Alligator Bites Never Heal, pretty much carried me through one of the toughest seasons of my life. Her consistency and determination has been so motivating. It makes me happy to see artists persevere, do what they are called to do, and have fun sharing their talents with others.
I’m determined to live in that same freedom.
Until next time! Stay up, stay woke, stay blessed.