This past week I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting.
After my siblings got out of my car on their first day of school, nostalgia got in.
I remembered having all the first day jitters, getting locker assignments, comparing schedules with the other students, and I thought about some of my favorite teachers and classes.
I also thought about the fact that it’s been 6 years since I graduated high school.
That was just me!
As I looked back at the girl in the photo, I couldn’t help but say, “there are SO many things I wish I had known.”
Not from a place of anger, but from a place of empathy.
I have so much love for the old me.
I Wish I Realized…
1. I don’t have to hide certain parts of myself.
Sometimes I’d switch up around certain people (they got a slice of me, but not the whole cake).
I purposefully hid parts of who I was, so that I could be cooler. Not realizing, that I was already dope.
I had to understand that there are billions of people on this planet and only one me.
There was no need to be ashamed of who I was and I shouldn’t have to water down any part of me.
It’s okay to fully be me.
2. The work will always be there tomorrow.
I was hard on myself.
I started working at 16 and through college, I continued to hold down multiple jobs while staying on top of my school work.
There were times I would literally work 12 days without a day off.
I rarely sat down to catch my breath and rest. I was constantly on go.
Now, I press pause on the work when I need to and make time to rest.
3. I should prioritize the life in front of me.
I don’t even want to know how much time I’ve been online in my entire life. This is probably THE biggest time sucker… and for what?
9/10 I usually regret spending too much time on social media, never the other way around.
For the past couple of years I’ve really just been enjoying life without having my phone in my hands all the time.
In fact, I try to do as much off of my phone as possible so I can take in the life and people around me.
4. It’s okay to step out on faith.
There is beauty in the unknown and I remember how I used to let fear take control of everything.
My mindset, actions, and comfortability.
And sometimes, I still struggle with this, but I try not to let it hold me down.
Fear kept me from experiencing a lot and I refuse to let it keep me from living the rest of my life.
5. Vulnerability is necessary.
Because of my upbringing, I felt like I was always somebody’s charity case.
I used to think the reason people did things for me, was because they felt sorry for me and they didn’t really love me.
I built walls because of that.
I had to understand that healthy relationships do exist and that being open to receive all the love that was out there was going to be vital for my existence.
6. My worth is priceless.
I need to respect myself, my life, and my values.
There were situations I allowed to go on way longer than they should’ve.
There were people I didn’t have to put up with.
There were words I didn’t speak when I felt a way about something.
I put my respect for others in front of my own, thinking I was doing a favor for myself.
Long story short, I was doing myself a disservice.
At least now I know.
Growth is a beautiful thing.
Even when it gets ugly, there is always something to be appreciated about your progress.
I’ve learned each season takes you somewhere.
All the sunshine, storms, and damage.
SO HUG THE OLD YOU.
Grieve her (or him) and just remember.
Remember all the times, the moments, when you just didn’t know. The moments when you wanted to give up. The moments you could’ve loved yourself more.
AND THEN HUG THE YOU THAT’S HERE TODAY.
It’ll be something you didn’t know you needed.
Keep endlessly becoming.
MEET THE AUTHOR
I’m a 24 year old who is passionate about personal growth, intentional living, and spreading light wherever, whenever.